It’s strange looking back at old posts, seeing how in love with him I was. I’m supposed to actually be seeing him today as he plans on giving me my money that he owes. I’m not sure I’m completely ready to see him (though I have seen him out once or twice) but I have no choice and I need the money.
He’s in a full blown relationship with another woman now. I found out over a month ago he was with her which was pretty awful because we had only been broken up a month and a half/two months. It’s with a girl he dated ten years ago and I always felt intimidated by her. He said she wore far too much make up and was disgusting. Haha. Perhaps not, huh!? I’m okay though. Apparently he went official with her on facebook last night (my friend mentioned it, I didn’t know because I deleted him to avoid seeing just that!) but I wasn’t too bothered. I’m just living my life and doing what I’m doing.
It’s hard though, being single. Sometimes I love it and love the fact I can do whatever I want. I have such fun being promiscuous and seeing different guys. But I do kind of want just one guy to do that with and that’s obviously a relationship. I definitely shouldn’t get into another relationship so soon after being in two massive ones. I need to just accept being single is good and focus on all the things I can do FOR MYSELF. I’m obsessed with men at the moment and it’s ridiculous. It’s because I used it as a defense mechanism when I first broke up with him… It helped to get lots of attention from other guys. But now? Hmm, it’s becoming too much. I think my mum and sister are going crazy because it’s men, men and more men! Trying to remember their names is ridiculous. My best friend is also the same (though she’s having major problems with her long term boyfriend at the moment and despises single life because that’s what their problem is – him wanting to be single). I dunno… I just need to focus on how to best improve myself rather than talking to, meeting with and seeing guys all the time.
I’m off on a girls holiday in 2 days! So maybe that last bit will have to wait for a week… HAHAHA! But we shall see….
Live the life you always imagined. 